Today my friends mother passed away. I can so vividly remember holding her in my arms as both of us cried drunk, and when she said she doesn’t know how she’s going to live without her. God she was such a beautiful person.
Today I feel selfish, I want to be selfless and I know that in itself is selfish. I feel pretentious like the bitch I am when I show my true colors, and I think to myself who the fuck am I to judge you? I want people to love me yet I try to love unconditionally, which probably makes me fake. I want my soul to be pure yet I know that’s asking for the world and more. I want to be happy alone, but I’m always daydreaming of someone waking up next to me tracing the outline of my palm. And I want to live without possessions, yet my entire world depends on something as simple as a material item. I want to go to sleep, but I’m so consumed by thoughts that really have no significance compared to the rest of the world. Yes, today I feel selfish.